Often people who live with an alcoholic spend much in the event that, not all, of their time looking after the drinker. They worry about when he will arrive home, whether or not he will arrive home. They worry about what condition he will be in when he is born home, whether he will maintain a good mood or ruining for a fight.
It is time to change that situation. It is time to, not only accept invitations, but also to issue some for yourself. It is time to stop hiding away and to quit being secretive about the issues that you are facing. It is time to stop living in the darkness of the alcoholic and start living for yourself.
Meaning worrying about him less, stopping clearing up after him and no longer making excuses for him and generally letting him experience the effects of his drinking. Advised this is not an easy thing to do, particularly if you have been caught up during his drinking for some years.
It is a wonder that anyone living with a great alcoholic has time to accomplish anything else, other than see to the drinker. Organisations such as Al-anon rightly suggest that anyone whom lives with an alcohol addiction needs to detach. That is they have to stand back from the intoxicating and let him lead his own life.
Your self esteem will improve and your depression and fear levels will decrease. Developing interests outside the home and also the alcoholic will make you extra interesting and will reduce your degrees of resentment. It will help you to generate a support network that could preserve you when things are difficult.
Most people who live with an alcoholic find themselves losing touch with their friends. Very easy usually happen quickly, in lieu it happens over time because you refuse first one party’s invitation, then another. Soon there are no invitations to decline any more.
Lastly it will eliminate the fear of being left without any help if the relationship finally turns into unsustainable. So if you live with an alcoholic make sure that you enjoy a life for yourself and that you may have a network of close friends that can support you when you need it.
On the one give it protects you with the shame and stigma of the problem drinking behaviour. It hides the worst of the anguish, arguments and fear but it also cuts you far from the very people that can help, your friends.
One thing that may help is to ensure you have a life of your own. As much people who live with alcoholics do, you may have been spanning for your alcoholic and being sure that the world does not know with the problems. This wall from secrecy is a double edged sword.
You will find real benefits to having the own life. If you look into something other than your alcoholic means then you will dedicate less time worrying on the subject of him and his routines. Research suggests that being left to fend for him self can bring the reality of your partner’s problem home to her.
There may be something that you’ve got always wanted to do, for example you may have wanted to learn more about working with computers, or learn about images or learn to paint. These are definitely things that you can do for you.